Tag Archives: runaway

Fourteen Year Old Girl Cry for Help

Fourteen Year Old Cry for Help

NRS gifThe following exchange is between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the National Runaway Switchboard.   It is long, but has a good ending.   To make a long story short, the girl found their bulletin board and put in a call for help.  The following back and forth exchanges illustrate the way these fine people work.   If you know of a troubled teen that is contemplating suicide or running away or suspect is being abuse/molested, then you should consider giving them the NRS phone number 1800.RUNAWAY.   A number like that is easy to remember.   

Peer Pressure
Are you feeling pressured from your friends to do things you know you shouldn’t do?

I need help…. A.S.A.P – 5/28/2007

Reply: A reply from NRS – 5/28/2007
Reply: me again – 5/28/2007
Reply: Reply from NRS – 5/28/2007
Reply: when – 5/28/2007
Reply: Reply from NRS – 5/28/2007
Reply: when – 5/28/2007
Reply: Reply to NRS – 5/29/2007
Reply: thanks – 5/29/2007
Reply: a response from NRS – 5/29/2007

I need help…. A.S.A.P
OK, I am 14 years old and have a bad drinking problem. Since I have this drinking problem it has made me make bad choices. And the thing is that now I am pregnant. I am 10 weeks and don’t know what to do anymore. My parents don’t know and I don’t want to tell them. I also don’t know who the father is. I tried talking to my parents and asked them what they would do if I ever got pregnant and they said that they would send me away to boarding school and my mom said she would put the guy in jail and my dad said he would kill him. What do I do? If I do tell my parents can they make me get an abortion or put it up fir adoption? I want to keep it but I don’t want to go away to boarding school. Can my parents do that? How do I deal with all of this? I can’t do it on my own anymore. I need to talk to someone about it.

A reply from NRS
Thanks for sharing your story. Sounds like there is some intense stuff going on in your life right now. Do you have anyone else you can talk to about this? Friends, teachers, relatives, etc? It also sounds like you don’t want to get an abortion. The truth is your parents can’t make you get an abortion but there are things that parents say and do to try and convince people to do certain things. Sometimes they make them feel guilty about stuff. Do you want to continue with the pregnancy? Do you have any plans for when things happen? What is the ideal situation for you right now? Seems like you’re asking for more support from your parents. Could someone help you communicate that to your parents so they don’t get mad at you while telling them? Your situation is a special one and it’s a bit difficult to talk about issues like these via the internet. Do you think you can call in (don’t worry, we’re anonymous and confidential) and we can talk about right and options you might have. We are here 24/7 to talk about whatever you need to-1800.RUNAWAY

me again
I’m sorry but there is no one else that I can talk to because I don’t trust people anymore. The people at my school wanted to call the cops because they think that I was raped and I was telling them that I think that it was my fault but I don’t know what to tell them anymore. I try to talk to my mom about it but she just stops the conversation or starts yelling at me. I can’t handle it anymore. I know its early but my stomache is getting bigger and I though my parents would realize it by now. Because I haven’t had my period or anything… But you guys are my last place that I could go to get help because I don’t need to get the cops involved and I like how you are confidential. I’m sorry again but I can’t call because my parents would somehow find out.. If you could please just help me over the internet… Thanks

Reply from NRS
Thank you for contacting us again. It sounds like you’re in a really difficult situation, and you want to tell your family that your pregnant but are having a hard time doing so. In the beginning of the bulletin you mentioned telling your friends that you were raped, but thinking that it was your fault. Nobody deserves to be violated in that way, and if somebody made you do something you did not want to do, that is wrong, and it is in no way your fault. You said that you have tried many times to tell your mother but she is not very responsive and even yells at you. What are the arguments usually about? Do you think there is a different way to go about talking to her that might be easier? What about writing her a letter? It also sounds like both of your parents are still not aware that you’re pregnant. How do you think they would react if you told them? I’m also wondering if you have been to any kind of medical facility. Have you already decided what you’re going to do with the baby? It sounds like your not comfortable calling so if you felt comfortable giving us what city and state you live in, we might be able to look up some services in your area that would be helpful. Are there specific services you were thinking of? You can contact us again through the bulletin page. I did want to give you two national resources that might be helpful… Planned Parenthood 1-800-230-7526 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Networks) 1-800-656-4673 Good luck with everything and contact us again if you want more resources.

when
When my mother and I argue it is usually about the way I dress or the people I hang out with. She has called me a ho and a slut but she doesn’t know anything about me and I hate how she judges me. I have gone to plan parent hood and they said that I have until friday to figure out what I want to do with the baby or it is going to be to late to get a abortion. My father used to hit me because he didn’t like the way I act and he said that I am not ggod enough to be in his family. They have kicked me out a couple of times and I have run away about 5 times. Some people say that I am better off to go to a shelter than stay at my house. But I won’t be able to leave my brothers and sisters and all my animals behind. When ever I run away my parents call the cops and they just come pick me up, bring me down to the station and then my parents come and pick me up.. Its the same routine every time. When my father was hitting me I told him that if he ever did it again I would report him and then he would never see me again and I will get all of his kids taken away from him, so he stopped. I know that no one deserves to be raped or anything like that but it was kinda my fault because I shouldn’t have been at the party I was at, I shouldn’t have been drinking and I shouldn’t have been wearing the clothes that I was wearing. I just wish that I could rewind my life and start over but unfortunetly I can’t. I am located in orange county, california. So if there is any place that you could tell me to go or call that would be great.. Thanks for all your help and sorry this is so long!!!!

Reply from NRS
Thanks for contacting us again. You sound like you not only have a lot of difficult situations going on in your life right now, but that you’ve been through a lot of tough times in the past. I’m sorry to hear that your father used to hit you, nobody deserves to be treated that way. You said that he doesn’t hit you anymore, but did you ever tell anybody when he did that? And I know you think you put yourself in a bad situation the night you got raped, but whether that is true or not, nobody has the right to hurt you like that. Right now it sounds like the biggest situation you’re dealing with is whether you are going to keep your baby or not. Have you considered what both options would be like? What would it be like to have the baby? What would it be like to have an abortion? I looked up a couple of services in your area that might be able to help. New Hope Teen line 1-714-639-4673 LDS Family Services 1-714-444-3463 (provides free counseling for pregnant girls) Touchstones 1-714-639-5542 (Adolescent Alcohol/Drug Treatment) Community Service Programs, Inc. 1-949-494-4311 (24hr helpline) (Provides youth shelter, crisis referrals, education) Hopefully some of these numbers will help, good luck with everything.

when
When my father was hitting me I never told anyone except for my best friend last year. One day it got so bad that I went to school with hand prints on my legs and two black eyes. I never really got up the courage to tell anyone. I don’t know what I want to do with my baby because if I keep it I know that it will change my life for ever and people at my school will start talking shit on me and start calling me a slut and bad stuff like that. My parents said that they would send me away to boarding school, because I just asked them what they would do as a random quiestion. I don’t think I would be able to handle not being able to see my friends anymore.my parents are already to over protective. If I don’t think I would be able to put my baby up for adoption because its like giving your baby away. If I were to have the baby it would change my life forever and I wouldn’t be able to go to school. And if I were to get a abortion I wouldn’t have to tell my parents that I was ever pregnant but I would have to keep that a secret for ever. Is it worth telling the cops? Because I don’t think that there is anything they could do to find the guy because I have no clue to who it could be. And what would happen if I do decide to kep the baby and my parents kick me out? Would I be stuck on the streets and be pregnant? Thanks for all of your help

Reply to NRS
It sounds like you have a lot to think about, and you’re really trying to look at the situation from every angle and understand how each option would affect your life. If you need any more help or perhaps other resources you can always email us at info@nrscrisisline.org. I know you said talking on the phone isn’t really an option because of you’re parents, but is there any way you can use the phone at a friends house, pay phone, school. It might be a little bit easier to discuss some options and talk about your situation. Good luck.

thanks
I never thought about using the phone at school, ill try that tomarrow. Is there any way that you could tell me where a place is that I could go and get an abortion, if I decide to get one? Thanks again..

a response from NRS
You can try Planned Parenthood. They hotline is 1-800-230-7526. Good luck.
thanks again

I just wanted to say that you guys have helped me so much… I think you saved my babies life. If I didn’t ask you guys quiestion I don’t know what I would have done… Thanks

This article is only one of more than 27 posts on homeless youth .  In addition there are more than  50 homeless veteran posts.     If you are interested in more, click one of these links.  Thank you for coming by.  Please consider adding me to your feed (see link below my picture.)   Thanks,Oldtimer
 

scared to say anything and about to give up

scared to say anything and

about to give up

The following is a real email to the National Runaway Switchboard from a 12 year old who is being victimized by step dad and contemplating runaway or suicide.  Read it and weep, then say hoo-ray! as she is helped out of the situation.

NRS gifFind this NRS call for help here

I’m 12 years old and live with my step dad and my mom. My step dad hits me and does other things to me. I had told my mom and all she tells me is that its my fault for i should behave and he wouldn’t do that.

I’m scared to sleep at night cause he comes in my room. thought about running away and I’m thinking about suicide actually I’m not thinking I’m planning it. I just can’t handle this anymore. I know or actually i feel its my fault so maybe i should get rid of the problem and that problem is me. I could really use some help from you people responding to me. thank you for listening to me

Reply from NRS

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like a really difficult situation for you at home right now. There are several agencies out there willing and wanting to help youth in your position. 1)RAINN (RAPE ABUSE INSEST NATIONAL NETWORK) 1-800-656-4673 2) NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 1-800-273-TALK. Both of these hotlines are 24 hours a day, just like ours at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are ALWAYS here to listen, not blame or judge just listen. If there is ever a time that you want to talk please feel free to call one of the hotlines. Best Wishes

Scared answers:

thank you i had called and now i’m in a safe place. i thank you for those numbers. but is it normal to still be scared about everything still?

(Track this at the link above)

“Why Would Someone Chose Homeless” – Homeless 17 Year Old Girl

Meet “Alice”, Homeless Girl now 17 in Canada

Her words (she went homeless before 16) – She is older than her days:

“Why would someone choose to be transient or homeless? The world is a vast, ruined empire- It is void of any true meaning with all our responsibilities being entirely superficial, and we have created imaginary borders and priced things that belong to no one such as our land. The surrounding materialism weighs us down, makes us weary: It is a distraction that is malignant.

“Being homeless is an entirely separate dimension from this society, an alternate community- There is a completely different set of rules, way of life, and sense of normality. Once you have adjusted to homelessness, it can be very difficult to turn around and work your way back into the ‘Real World’; it becomes frustrating and lonely when you have to abide by a new social code and people are intolerant of your mannerisms.

“It’s like walking into a new country where you know nothing of the current customs, are baffled by people’s beliefs and gestures, and are confused by the tongue spoken. At a time, you just want to break free and separate yourself: You want to listen to your heart, and not found yourself on stability or comfort.

“There is nothing quite like the feeling you get when you walk away from your home with nothing but what’s in your pockets, and with no intention of returning.

“When homeless or transient, especially when you’re on drugs, life becomes a journey rather than an endless cycle. You lose your sense of time, not knowing the date and having only a vague idea of what stage of day it is; you spend your money on your present needs and desires rather than on future possibilities. When you’re high, it’s all about the small things in life; there’s no interest in the future and no care for the bigger picture. No one and nothing, yet everyone and everything, is cool. You’re content with no yearning desires. Life is all about warm, sunny afternoons on the cliff admiring the view and soaking in the calm, altogether uninhibited, and liberated on crack rocks- Free to speak your mind with no prejudices, free to be with no boundaries.

“However, I would support (the assertion) that children don’t become homeless merely because they dislike school or their family rules; rather, I think there is a much larger picture. Any kind of sufferance can be deepened when you love and care for the person hurting you; fear and confusion in childhood can make a claustrophobic teenager; and boredom can result in frustration and anxiety.

“Life on the streets is without any doubt a constant struggle and the average youngster would return home to comfort rather than hold out on the street if he didn’t have a strong and viable reason. His home and his life would have to represent a lot of pain and anger to keep him away for long; and he would have to have deep-rooted feelings of hatred and fear of the system to keep him there.

“Children who have been abused and neglected, then let down by their social workers and teachers, as well as nurses and police officers; children who have been drained through years of needless counselling then tossed from hospital to hospital like a nun; children who were kept isolated, then were physically and emotionally hurt when they attempted to connect.”

The above is a copy of a post by “Alice” which is not even her real screen name, but she is a real homeless person, trying to tell us a little about what it is like.   It may give you at least a little insight into the thinking of a young homeless girl. 

There are places to call, such as the National Runaway Switchboard or 2-1-1 anywhere in the country.   The link to the NRS is in the right column.  The idea is to get these youngsters help before they run away or get thrown away.   If your child is at risk or harboring a friend that would be on the streets without your help, get professionals involved… NOW.

Kids are out there too…

Do you hear a cry for help?

Click for all Homeless Youth Articles

Click for all Homeless Veteran Articles

Oldtimer

Common Myths About Youth Homelessness

Myth: IT’S FUN. Youth on the street may say it is completely their choice to be homeless. They may say they just want to hang with their friends. This is a good way to maintain dignity or avoid talking about personal issues. When trust is built with someone who is really able to provide help, the stories of sexual abuse, abandonment, and other trauma invariably come out. Life on the streets is anything but fun. It is a constant looking over your shoulder, guarding all your belongings from theft, looking for food, dry clothing and shelter, and continually feeling insults and nasty looks from passers by.

Myth: MOST ARE RUNAWAYS Many youth run away from home, and many runaway reports are filed with the police. Few of those runaways stay out for more than one or two nights and fewer still become homeless. Only 2-8% of youth served in homeless youth shelters have a runaway report filed on them.

Myth: YOUTH DON’T WANT SERVICES. Most youth do want help.  They want to have a normal life, go to school, start a career, develop relationships.  They just don’t know how with the limited resources available to them.  Many services are difficult or impossible to access without a parent’s signature, proper identification, medical insurance, etc. Others have long waiting lists.

Waiting lists are difficult to use when the youth are moving around each night. Many homeless youth are distrustful of adults and social services.  As much as they want a better life, they may be afraid to engage in services or cynical about the likelihood of getting real help. They have been let down a lot. But if trust can be slowly built, most do engage in services when they are available, and often do very well.

The above items were found on the Seattle Human Services Website.

Oldtimer’s Comment:  Click for all Homeless Youth articles

Still on the Road (words of a homeless youth)

Still on the Road   This has excerpts from a long posting by a a homeless boy writing from a library.  He is 15 now.  Links to the full article are at the bottom.

My name is Larry and I was 14 when I ran away from home. My mom and I argued constantly. One night it got so bad that she started hitting me. I couldn’t take it any longer and I had to get out of there.It was 2:00am when I opened my window and jumped out. When my feet hit the ground I ran as fast as I could. I was a little chubby then so I couldn’t run very fast but fast enough to get away. I went to a nearby highway going south and I started to follow it. I hitched a ride with some truckers who let me off somewhere in Ohio. I had no money so I had to steal food to eat. I had no where to go so I just kept walking. At night I wrapped up in the blanket I brought and slept in the deep ditch that I had been walking in.One day a police car pulled up beside me and a cop got out. He asked me where I was going and I said I was going to the next exit. That I had just got back from a sleepover and I was walking home. He told me to get in and I did. He pulled off on the next exit and asked me where my house was. I directed him to a nearby neighborhood. He asked which house and I looked around for a house that looked empty. I told him it was a house that looked as if no one was there. I got out of the car and he did too. He wanted to talk to my parents. I went up to the house and knocked hoping no one was there. I told the officer that my mom was at work. He gave me a long glare and said to keep off the highway. He back into his partol car and drove off. The instant he was out of sight I ran as fast as I could.From then on I took side roads. I went through people’s trash for food and slept anywhere I thought it was somewhat safe. 

(…)

One thing was clear though is that my mom didn’t make a bug effort to find me and I could never go back there.I am now currently sitting in a library typing this up. I am still on the run and probably always will be. I celebrated my birthday on the streets and I’m 15 now.I have to go now but I want to tell you all out there reading this that running away is a big mistake. If you want to throw your life away then run away but be aware that it is rough.  And some people may not be as lucky as me. I never got into drugs or drinking and that’s why I think I was able to survive for so long.
Good luck,
Larry

 Read the rest of this story

Oldtimer’s comment:  Click for All the Homeless Youth articles

Sex Offenders Going Homeless

This is not quite off topic for homeless youth.   Child molesters are listed in the sex offender registry.  They are the worst of the worst, preying on the helpless and the young, unwise and unwary.   They are on the move.   Nationally, many local and state governments have tightened up their laws, pushing the sex offenders away from schools, churches, parks and playgrounds, driving them out of homes because they now live too close to a temptation.   So the sex offenders are on the move, trying to find some place they can live.   It’s not easy. 

The unintended consequence is that many are going skedaddle, vamoose, or as the law calls it, absconded.    Some find homelessness a perfect cover.  Nobody asks questions and since homeless are everywhere, the park next to that girl’s club or boy’s club or the clump of trees across from the middle school suits them just fine.   And, if a homeless youngster, street kid, runaway, foster child out of foster care, or the wayward child cutting through the woods shows up, the child predator is ready to befriend them.  

Homeless youth are often sexually abused when they are on the streets.  Many take cover with an older person or adult that will “protect” them or provide food in return for sexual favors.   Not a good thought.  It is a perfect setup for a child molester driven out of his home.

I read that eight sex offenders in Pensacola have been relocated by the sheriff’s dept to a bridge across a causeway.   Not just to the bridge but under it.   They even send someone out every day to check them in for the night.  

How many times have you seen youngsters fishing from such bridges?   Have you ever gone under one to play?   I have, great adventure for boys wanting to get their feet wet or to find a shady place to fish.  Bad things can happen while daddy fishes from the middle of the bridge.  Homeless youth often hang out under bridges, just like adult homeless.

All I have to say is that we need better ways to track these people.  They stand prepared to give the homeless a bad name.  

Next post I’ll give you a powerful tool to locate the registered sex offenders in your neighborhood.  Unfortunately, you have no way to know if any of the homeless are also sex offenders as they are very likely not registered.  Right now, don’t worry too much about that.   The homeless generally have a code of ethics that would rival any of us.   Believe it or not, most homeless are quite lawful and will eject anyone that would bring any attention to themselves by criminal acts.  The problem comes when several sex predators join up and seek out children, as happened recently in Atlanta.  

Homeless street kids have very little chance of getting by without sexual abuse, often by a predator that has befriended them and offered protection.  Yeah, right.  Our job is to get the kids off the street and into some sort of protective home.   That is the very best we can hope for, because the predators will always be with us, lurking and waiting.